How to find the right therapist

Illustration with two humam figures holding up matching jigsaw puzzle pieces

Finding a therapist who is a good fit for you is one of the most important steps in getting the most out of therapy. Research consistently shows that the quality of the relationship between you and your therapist – known as the therapeutic alliance – is a key predictor of positive outcomes ((Ardito & Rabellino, 2011; Martin, Garske & Davis, 2000). In other words, no matter how skilled the therapist or which techniques they use, therapy works best when you feel comfortable, heard, and understood by your therapist​. This guide will walk you through some key considerations we recommend you take into account, that can support you in making an informed choice.

Key things to consider, that we will detail in each expandible section below:

• Why are you seeking therapy? Understanding Your Needs and Common Reasons to Seek Therapy

• Are you ready to start therapy - is now the right time?

• Consider what types of therapy exist, and what works for the specific issue you want to address in therapy.

• Different Therapy Modalities and Approaches

• Therapeutic Style: Directive vs Non-Directive

• Types of Therapists and Professional Qualifications in the UK

• Checking Qualifications and Professional Registration

• Therapeutic Alliance and Personal Preferences: Finding the Right Match (including Relationship with the therapist and Cultural Background, Identity and Religious Beliefs, Gender and Personal Comfort, Age and Life Experience of Therapist)

• Other Practical Considerations: (Cost and Budget, Availability and Scheduling, Location/Remote/in person, Access, Waiting Lists, Duration and Commitment, Language, Free Initial Consultation)

• Conclusion

• How PsyConnect can help

Why are you seeking therapy? Understanding Your Needs and Common Reasons to Seek Therapy

People come to therapy for many different reasons. Identifying your primary concerns can help you find a therapist with the appropriate experience and approach for your needs. Below are some common issues that lead people to seek therapy, along with qualities or approaches to look for in a therapist for each:

Anxiety and Stress: Anxiety disorders (including general anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, social anxiety) and chronic stress are among the most common reasons to seek therapy. In the UK, evidence-based psychological therapies are recommended as a first-line treatment for anxiety (NHS, NICE, 2014). Look for a therapist who has experience treating anxiety and can teach practical coping skills for worry and panic. Therapists trained in cognitive-behavioral techniques are often the best choices, as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is strongly supported for anxiety management (Royal College of Psychiatrists, 2020). A therapist is likely to help you gradually face fears in a safe way and creates a calm, reassuring environment. Being non-judgmental and patient is important, since anxiety can make opening up difficult.

Depression and Low Mood: Depression can make it hard to reach out, but a supportive therapeutic relationship can be very effective in improving mood. NICE guidelines for depression recommend talking therapies (such as CBT or interpersonal therapy) as part of treatment plans​ (NHS, NICE, 2022). For depression, consider a therapist who is compassionate and empathetic, helping you feel heard and understood. Many people with depression benefit from a structured approach to set small goals, so a therapist who can combine empathy with evidence-based strategies (like behavioral activation or problem-solving) may be ideal. A counselling psychologist or counsellor with experience in mood disorders, or a clinical psychologist skilled in evidence-based interventions may be a good fit. It's important that you feel comfortable discussing difficult emotions, so look for a therapist you sense you could trust with your most vulnerable experiences. During therapy, you may also come to recognise that you’ve experienced trauma, even if it wasn’t previously identified as such.

Trauma and PTSD: If you have experienced trauma (such as abuse, violence, accidents, or any life-threatening event), it’s crucial to find a trauma-informed therapist. Trauma survivors often have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms like flashbacks, nightmares, or feeling on edge. NICE guidelines advise that trauma-focused therapies (like trauma-focused CBT or EMDR) are the most effective treatments for PTSD (Mind UK, NICE, 2018). Look for a therapist who specialises in trauma – this might be indicated by qualifications in trauma-focused CBT, EMDR, or somatic therapies, or by terms like “trauma-informed” on their profile. Such a therapist will prioritise creating a sense of safety and control in sessions. Qualities to look for include gentleness, patience, and good grounding techniques to help you stay present. A trauma specialist should also respect your pace (not pushing you to discuss details before you’re ready) and have clear strategies for handling distress. Many trauma survivors find it helpful if the therapist has experience working with dissociation or complex trauma, if those are relevant. Above all, you should feel safe and that the therapist takes your experiences seriously.

Neurodiversity (ADHD, Autism, etc.): If some of your difficulties are related to ADHD or autism, it is beneficial to work with a therapist who is familiar with psychosocial and behavioural interventions. For ADHD, this may include structured skills-based approaches such as behavioural strategies for managing time, tasks, and emotional regulation, as well as psychoeducation and coaching techniques (NICE, 2018). For autistic individuals, interventions might focus on supporting emotional wellbeing, improving adaptive coping strategies, and reducing distress related to sensory overload or social stressors, rather than aiming to "fix" or "normalise" neurodivergent traits (BPS, 2021; NICE, 2021). 

Individuals who are neurodivergent (for example, autistic adults or those with ADHD) might also come to therapy for support with other mental health issues, understanding themselves, or for developing coping strategies. If you are neurodivergent, you may want a therapist who takes a neurodiversity-affirming approach – one who understands that neurological differences are not flaws, and who is knowledgeable about the unique challenges (such as sensory sensitivities, social communication differences, or executive function difficulties) that neurodivergent people may face (BPS, 2021). A good therapist for neurodiverse clients will focus on your strengths and perspectives while helping with any co-occurring issues like anxiety or low self-esteem (Adams & Robinson, 2022). 

Grief and Bereavement: Losing a loved one or experiencing any significant loss (such as the end of a relationship or loss of a job or identity) can lead to intense grief. Bereavement counselling is a common form of therapy in the UK specifically to support people through grief. In bereavement therapy, empathy and the ability to hold space for painful emotions are key. Look for a therapist who has experience with grief or is affiliated with organisations like Cruse Bereavement Support. Therapists who work with grief should allow you to talk about the person who died and your feelings at your own pace. Qualities like patience, compassion, and warmth are important – for example, a counsellor who reassures you that there is no “right” way to grieve and no time limit (Marie Curie, 2022). Many people in grief find it helpful if the therapist can also provide some guidance on coping day-to-day, so someone knowledgeable about bereavement processes and possibly spiritual or existential issues (if those matter to you) could be beneficial. While specific techniques may be less prominent in grief counselling (it’s often non-directive), you might value a therapist who can gently help you find meaning or maintain a connection to what you lost in a healthy way. If your grief is complicated or prolonged, consider a therapist who has training in complex bereavement or trauma, as they will be equipped to handle deeper issues that sometimes accompany loss.

Other Issues (Relationships, Self-Esteem, etc.): Beyond the examples above, therapy can help with a wide range of issues – relationship or family problems, anger management, self-esteem, identity questions, chronic illness, and personal growth, to name a few. Try to identify the main theme you want to work on and seek a therapist who mentions that area. For relationship difficulties, for instance, a therapist who has training in couples therapy or family therapy (if you’re attending with family) might be ideal. For self-esteem or personal development, you might lean towards a humanistic or integrative counsellor who focuses on self-exploration in a supportive way. If you have a specific problem like an eating disorder or an addiction, look for someone specialised in that field (e.g. an addiction counsellor or a therapist who has worked in eating disorder services). Many therapists list on their profiles the issues they have the most experience with – such as “bereavement,” “LGBTQ+ issues,” “trauma,” “anger,” etc. – and you can use those keywords to narrow your search. Ultimately, experience and expertise with your particular issue is one factor to consider, but remember that most therapists are trained to deal with a broad spectrum of common psychological difficulties.

Are you ready to start therapy - is now the right time?

Therapy is most effective when a person feels ready and willing to engage with the process. Being "ready" doesn’t mean having everything figured out - it means being open to self-exploration, willing to reflect on difficult feelings, and prepared to attend sessions regularly. Research shows that a client’s motivation and readiness to change can significantly influence therapeutic outcomes (Norcross & Lambert, 2019). You can download the URICA (University of Rhode Island Change Assessment Scale ) readiness for change questionnaire here if you want some help assessing where you are at in terms of readiness, and there are other similar questionnaires or questionnaires that are specific to certain issues (such as substance abuse) that you can find online. If you’re unsure about therapy or feel pressured into it, it may be harder to form a strong therapeutic alliance or to benefit from the work. Taking time to consider your goals and what you hope to gain from therapy can help you enter the process with clarity and commitment. This ties in with more practical and logistical considerations like can you afford therapy right now (if it will be self-funded), do you have time to attend sessions - likely an hour a week (plus travel if you are seeing a therapist in person), are you willing to invest the energy and ready to make changes in your life to improve things, if needed?

Consider what types of therapy exist, and what works for the specific issue you want to address in therapy

Different Therapy Modalities and Approaches

Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all – different therapeutic modalities have been developed to treat various issues. Here are some of the most common approaches, and what the evidence says they are good for addressing:

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): CBT is a structured, goal-oriented therapy that helps you identify and change unhelpful thought and behaviour patterns. It’s one of the most well-researched therapies and is recommended for many mental health problems, including depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD, and eating disorders (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence [NICE], 2011)). CBT has strong evidence backing its effectiveness; in England it’s a primary treatment offered for anxiety and depression through NHS Talking Therapies​ (National Health Service [NHS], 2025 and numerous studies have shown CBT can significantly reduce symptoms across a range of conditions (NICE, 2018; A-Tjak et al., 2015).

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): ACT belongs to a group of therapies collectively known as third wave CBT, which also includes Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) and Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT).  Rather than challenging thoughts directly, ACT encourages accepting difficult feelings while committing to actions aligned with your values. The goal is to increase psychological flexibility – the ability to face life’s challenges without getting stuck in mental struggles. ACT has a growing evidence base: meta-analyses indicate ACT is more effective than treatment-as-usual and about as effective as traditional CBT for issues like anxiety, depression, and addiction (A-Tjak et al., 2015). This approach might suit people looking for a mindfulness-based or values-oriented therapy style. ACT is available in some NHS settings (especially for chronic health problems or pain management) and through private therapists.

MBCT combines cognitive strategies with mindfulness meditation and has strong evidence for preventing relapse in recurrent depression (Kuyken et al., 2016). CFT focuses on reducing shame and self-criticism through the cultivation of self-compassion, and is often used with people who have experienced trauma, eating disorders, or chronic mental health difficulties (Gilbert, 2010). These approaches retain the behavioural and cognitive roots of traditional CBT but place greater emphasis on mindfulness, acceptance, metacognition, and emotional processing.

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT): DBT is a form of cognitive-behavioural therapy designed for individuals who experience intense emotions. It was developed specifically to treat borderline personality disorder (BPD) and persistent self-harming or suicidal behaviours (Linehan, 1993). Research has found DBT to be effective for BPD and other difficult-to-treat conditions - it’s considered an evidence-based treatment for BPD, with randomised trials showing it reduces self-harm and improves mood regulation (May et al., 2016). The UK’s NICE guidelines specifically recommend DBT for women with BPD who frequently self-harm (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence [NICE], 2009; Mind, 2020). Many NHS services and private clinics now offer DBT for BPD, and adaptations of DBT have also been applied to other problems, such as substance use and eating disorders, with promising results (May et al., 2016).

Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) is a time-limited, structured therapy originally developed to treat depression. It focuses on improving interpersonal functioning by addressing problem areas such as grief, role transitions, disputes, and social isolation. IPT has strong evidence for depression and is endorsed by NICE for moderate to severe depressive episodes (NICE, 2009). It has also been adapted for other conditions, including eating disorders and bipolar disorder.

Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR): EMDR is a specialised therapy primarily used to treat psychological trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In EMDR sessions, a therapist guides you to recall traumatic memories while you focus on a bilateral stimulus, such as tracking the therapist’s moving finger with your eyes. This process is thought to help the brain re-process trauma memories and reduce their emotional intensity. EMDR is highly regarded in international guidelines – for instance, it carries a strong recommendation in most clinical guidelines for PTSD (Beauvais et al., 2025). In the UK, the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE, 2018) explicitly recommends trauma-focused therapies like EMDR (alongside trauma-focused CBT) as first-line treatments for PTSD. This means that if you have PTSD, the NHS may offer EMDR or refer you to a qualified EMDR practitioner. Research shows that EMDR can significantly reduce PTSD symptoms, often within a shorter treatment period (e.g. approximately three months of weekly sessions) compared to some other approaches (Beauvais et al., 2025). EMDR is a structured protocol delivered by specially trained professionals, making it important to seek a therapist accredited in EMDR if you’re addressing trauma-related concerns.

Schema Therapy: Schema Therapy is an integrative approach that combines elements of CBT, attachment theory, and psychodynamic concepts. It was developed to treat chronic mental health issues and personality disorders by addressing deep-rooted patterns (or “schemas”) formed by unmet emotional needs in childhood. The therapy helps people identify and change maladaptive schemas and coping styles through cognitive, behavioural, and experiential techniques. Schema Therapy tends to be longer-term and is often used for complex or longstanding problems such as personality disorders, or recurrent depression with studies supporting its effectiveness and even outperforming other treatments in certain trials (Masley et al., 2012). In the UK, Schema Therapy is offered by some psychologists and psychotherapists, particularly those working with complex trauma or personality disorders. It may be less widely available than CBT/DBT on the NHS, but you can find accredited schema therapists in private practice or specialist clinics.

Psychodynamic therapy developed from psychoanalytic theory and focuses on how unconscious patterns and early life experiences influence present-day feelings, behaviours, and relationships – an idea supported by attachment theory (Bowlby, 1969) and neuroimaging research (Schore, 2012). It often explores recurring relational dynamics and defence mechanisms that may be outside of conscious awareness. As a non-directive form of therapy, psychodynamic work allows the client to lead the discussion while the therapist facilitates reflection and insight rather than giving direct advice or structured techniques. Psychodynamic therapy has strong empirical support, particularly for depression, anxiety, and personality disorders. Research suggests it can lead to enduring improvements, with benefits often continuing after therapy ends (Shedler, 2010; Steinert et al., 2017). It may be particularly well suited for individuals seeking deeper insight into emotional difficulties or relational patterns.

Person-centred therapy is a humanistic therapy grounded in the belief that people have an innate tendency toward growth when provided with the right conditions – empathy, unconditional positive regard, and congruence (genuineness). The therapist offers a non-judgemental space where the client leads the process. This approach is widely used in UK counselling services and is often beneficial for people facing emotional distress, low self-esteem, or identity struggles. Large-scale studies have shown it to be effective for common mental health problems such as anxiety and depression (Cooper et al., 2010; Elliott et al., 2013).

Existential therapy also falls under the humanistic umbrella but focuses more explicitly on philosophical themes like freedom, responsibility, meaning, and mortality. It can be particularly helpful for individuals facing major life transitions, crisis of meaning, or questions about identity and purpose (Van Deurzen, 2012). Existential therapy doesn't pathologise distress but sees it as a natural part of the human condition, offering a reflective space to explore values, authenticity, and life choices.

Each of these approaches offers a valid and evidence-informed path to emotional healing. Many therapists today practice integratively, drawing from more than one of these modalities to tailor treatment to individual clients. The key is finding a therapist whose approach resonates with you and aligns with the nature of the issues you're facing – whether that’s building insight into long-term relational patterns, processing grief, exploring existential questions, or improving day-to-day coping.

As you review the information above, remember that effective therapy is not just about the specific approach and techniques that a therapist uses – it’s also about you as an individual. Some people respond better to one approach than another. For instance, two people with PTSD might both recover, one via EMDR and one via trauma-focused CBT, depending on which approach they were more comfortable with. Clinical guidelines (like those from NICE - the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence) are helpful summaries of what tends to work for most people with a given condition, but they always emphasise considering patient preference, too.

Key take-away: There are evidence-based therapies available for virtually every common mental health condition. You don’t need to become an expert in all these modalities, but if you have a particular issue, it’s wise to check which therapies have a track record of helping that issue. Often, when searching for a therapist or speaking to your GP, you can mention the type of therapy you’re interested in. In IAPT (NHS Talking Therapies) services, they will typically offer CBT for anxiety/depression, interpersonal therapy or counselling for depression in some cases, and sometimes EMDR for PTSD. For more complex problems like personality disorders, specialised services may offer DBT, schema therapy, or other longer-term therapy.

Don’t be afraid to ask a prospective therapist, “Have you treated [my issue] before? What approach do you use for it, and is there evidence that it helps?” An ethical therapist will appreciate a client who wants to make an informed choice and should be able to give you a credible answer. It might sound like a lot to consider, but ultimately these therapies share more similarities than differences – they all aim to relieve suffering and improve mental health. The “right” one for you will be the one that you feel works for your personality and addresses your problems in a way that makes sense to you.

Therapeutic Style: Directive vs Non-Directive

Types of Therapists and Professional Qualifications in the UK

Checking Qualifications and Professional Registration

Therapeutic Alliance and Personal Preferences: Finding the Right Match

Other Practical Considerations: cost and access, availability, location, language and more

Conclusion

How PsyConnect can help

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